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spires from Carfax

The Wheels on the Walrus go Round and Round

Books + Ideas, , — November 2013

The lyrics of any children's song can be improved by changing a key word to "walrus".

This gives us such classics as "The Wheels on the Walrus go Round and Round", "Incy Wincy Walrus", "If You're Happy and you Know it Stab your Tusks", and "Ten Brown Walruses, Sitting on the Shore".

And why stop with children's songs? Who can forget such classics as "Wachet auf, ruft uns das Walross" and "that poor walrus // tossed by the tides of misfortune // barely here to tell her tale // swam in on a sea of disaster // rode out on a main line rail"?

This will also help to correct a great inequity. People may sing "Why are there so many songs about Walruses // And what's in their intestines?", but the truth is that there are actually very few songs about walruses.

1 Comment »

  1. Late last night
    I heard the screen door slam
    And a big yellow walrus
    Took away my old man

    Don't it always seem to go
    That you don't know what you've got
    Till it's gone
    They paved paradise
    And put up a parking lot

    Comment by Jim Birch — November 2013

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